Letter
by ItsAlwaystheBadGuys
Summary: Oneshot: Mr. Burke's love letters are the only thing that gives the Vault Dweller hope. One day they stop coming and she snaps. Angsty romance Burke/Female Vault Dweller/ Rated M for language and just in case...


Stomping her boot down on the radscorpion and crushing the juice out of it, Hel glanced up at Charon as he looked on patiently. The ghoul knew better than to say anything to her at this point. Her father had breezed through their reunion with the tact and skill of a typical obsessed person. And the obsession unfortunately hadn't been raising his daughter. Charon wondered who James had expected would walk his daughter down the aisle if she had stayed in the vault where he'd left her. The ghoul would be surprised if the man had even thought that far.

So Hel raged. She'd been destroying anything that attacked them, trecking them back to Megaton from Rivet City; back home. It wasn't much further off. Maybe another two miles. Charon didn't have a pip-boy like she did, but he'd been on this walk often enough to know where he was.

Hel had finished savagely stomping the insect to death and was staring at the sky, shoulders slumped, "Charon?" her voice was shaky, "How long can someone continue to force themselves to be a good person?"

"What?"

"Nothing," she sighed and adjusted the shotgun hanging from her shoulder; turning back to Megaton.

Grumbling, Charon forced himself to say something to cheer her up, "It's been a while since we've been back home. Maybe we should swing by Moriarty's for a drink?"

Smirking a little when she stumbled, Charon covered it with a cough when she turned to look at him, eyes bright with hope.

"Yeah, a drink at Moriarty's sounds great," her steps doubled in pace and Charon found he actually had to take his full stride to keep up with her. The next couple miles flew past and they were soon shaking the dust off their clothes outside Moriarty's Saloon.

As soon as they entered, Charon saw Hel scan the room for the owner. She didn't have to look far, he was coming straight for her, which meant only one thing.

Snatching the letter from Moriarty as he yelled at her that his place of business wasn't a damned post office, the red-headed smoothskin made her way over to her favorite chair, the spot where she'd met the man that kept sending her those letters.

Charon had never met him, but he knew that Hel cared for the man a great deal, though he had no idea why. The man left an incredible woman out in the wastes on her own where she had to rely on others to watch her back. Snorting as he ordered a vodka from Gob, Charon sat down on a stool at the bar to watch Hel. He loved watching her get red in the face and all giddy. He knew if anything could cheer her up now, it would be a love letter from her man.

Opening the letter, she began to read, and at first her eyes lit up, the hope burning into the paper in front of her. Then as she flipped it over, her brow furrowed and she flipped back to the front, eyes scanning and re-scanning. Glancing up once towards Charon, she worried him. This wasn't a normal reaction.

Hel read the letter one more time as Charon got to his feet and walked towards her. Her breathing had become labored and her skin had flushed, but not in the way he liked. Head snapping up to meet his gaze, Charon saw in her eyes the same look he'd seen after her father had brushed her aside a few days ago.

"Fuck," he breathed. This was _not_ going to be good.

...

"_Needing_ you."

"I can't bear to be without you."

"I love you."

"I can't stand the thought of another man having you."

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

"Fly free."

Hel felt like she was spiraling downwards, and sick was rising fast in her throat. She couldn't see Charon through the haze of sadness and anger that blurred across her eyes. _WHAT THE FUCK?_ she thought, _WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT OF ALL THIS?_ Hands gripped her shoulders and she felt herself being hauled to her feet. Dragging her outside, Charon leaned her over the edge of the balcony just as her stomach emptied itself.

There were yells from below, quickly followed by loud, graphic threats from Charon, then silence, "What happened, Hel?" the ghoul turned her round and set her down with her back leaned against the guard railing. Fingers worked the letter from Burke from her hands as she sat there silent, mind racing a thousand miles an hour. She was aware of Charon getting back to his feet.

Mumbling, then a grunt, "Fuck him, Hel. You don't need a man like that."

Shaking her head, Hel said, "What's wrong with me, Charon? No one liked me in the vault, my father left me, then when I rescue him and we're reunited he leaves me again first chance he gets, then Burke calls it off. The one thing I thought was a constant. What do I do that is so terrible that others can't bear to be near me? Is the only thing that keeps you next to me this damned contract?"

The ghoul didn't answer in the way she was hoping, "I don't know."

"Goddamnit Charon," she half-laughed, half-cried as she swung one arm up to hook around the balcony and drag herself to her feet, "Fuck you."

"Hey kid," the ghoul grabbed her shoulders again and forced her to look at him, her eyes blinking away the tears so she could see his face, "You listen to me. That son of a bitch doesn't know what he's let go. Alright? No more tears wasted on him, okay?" his rough thumb grazed across her cheek, wiping the trail of tears away as she sniffled and tried to swallow the rest.

Shaking away from him, Hel straightened herself and held her hand out. Charon reluctantly gave her the letter from Burke back. It was all she could do not to sniff the paper for Burke's unmistakeable scent. Damn that man, she'd let him make her fall in love with him. Now he'd left her just like everybody else, ripping her heart from her chest and stomping on it. And he'd done it so eloquently, bless the fucking bastard.

Rage had already filled her to the brim after her father had made it clear that he didn't give a damn about what happened to her personally. She saw his goals for the good that they were, but she couldn't understand how asking for a few hours of his time was really so impossible. Now, there was more rage trying to build up, and it had nowhere to go. Her brain felt like it was going to explode. She couldn't think straight, didn't know that she was walking towards the entrance of Megaton, her ghoul obediently following behind her.

But when they walked out, Hel knew where she was and what she had to do. Copying the letter into her pip-boy, Hel crumpled up the paper and tossed it to the ground; the wind kicked it away over the dust and rocks, "Charon."

"Yeah?"

"Where's Tenpenny Tower?"

...

Azhrukhal had sent him here a few times before to make a delivery or to pick something up. Charon had never been inside Tenpenny Tower, and from the looks of it when Hel walked up to the locked gates, he never would. A ghoul was shouting into a speaker to the left of the gates. Something about not being able to tell him from a feral. Hel, in a brain-dead, feral-like state of her own, whipped out her shotgun and shot him in the head without a word. Gulping as his stomach did a flip, Charon prayed the next thing she did was sane.

Slamming her fist into the intercom, Hel's eyes widened as the man on the other side started in on her as if she were the ghoul whose brains were still landing behind her, "You kiss your mother with that mouth?" she snapped.

"What the? Oh, sorry, I thought you were someone else."

"Too bad for you. I'm here to see Burke, let me in."

"Just a minute, Mr. Burke didn't say anything about any visitors. Besides, he ain't here."

Rolling her eyes to the sky, then down to Charon, Hel stared at the ghoul with hollow eyes as she spoke, "Tell him his little bird will fly away where he can never find her."

"I told you lady, he ain't here, now get lost!"

Shouldering her shotgun, Hel stepped back a few steps, then raised one heavy boot and slammed it into the intercom. The speaker crushed in on itself, a few sparks shooting from under her sole. With a satisfied smirk, she glanced up, staring at the top of the tower as if she could see something. Following her gaze, Charon saw nothing, but his old eyes were nowhere near as good as hers.

"Come on, Charon," she patted his shoulder, "Let's go. If the man says he isn't here, he must not be here."

...

Knuckles turning white as he clenched the banister, Richard Burke watched the love of his life walk away from his doorstep. He had hoped she hadn't known where he lived, but of course she had figured it out. He knew any number of things he had said or done had probably tipped her off to where he called home.

"Damn," he hissed. He wanted nothing more than to leap from the top of the building and land in front of her, scoop her up and tell her he was sorry and that it was all a misunderstanding. Instead, he ran a hand through his disheveled hair and choked back a sob. Why had he asked _her_ to come talk to him in Moriarty's? Why hadn't he left it all alone?

The thoughts made him sick, he knew he would never give back the few moments they had together. What hurt so much was that he knew it couldn't be maintained with the lives they led. Slumping into the lounge chair behind him, Burke felt a tear escape. Goddamn the whole fucking world.

"Mr. Burke sir?"

Startled, Burke whirled angrily on the guard standing in the doorway of Tenpenny's suite, "What is it?"

"I uh, the woman that just left was asking for you. She told me to tell you that...your little bird will fly away where you can never find her."

Jaw clenching, Burke nodded his head once, "Thank you."

The guard left him, and he took a shuddering breath. He knew this was for the best. He _knew_ that.

He didn't feel it.

...

For weeks they went everywhere and nowhere. Hel kept them away from civilization, barely speaking to Charon. Charon was sure they'd walked over more than half of the wastes. She murdered everything in sight. Mutated creatures, feral ghouls, and raiders he didn't mind, but when she walked right up to innocent traders and murdered them, stealing their goods to boot, Charon began to feel the same resentment towards her that he had his previous owner.

Voicing his worries to her one night as they were preparing to make camp, Charon waited patiently as she stared up at the night sky before answering, "I'm sorry Charon. I'll try to do better."

And she did. If only for him, she controlled herself. Knowing what was making her this way only made the big ghoul angrier. Did loverboy know the damage he was causing? The confident, funny, sexy young girl he had known had disappeared and been replaced with this empty shell of a human that only knew how to connect with the world by taking life out of it.

One day she woke up and all she wanted to do was go home, but not to Megaton. She wanted to go to her father again.

"Please, Hel, don't go back to him. He's no better than Burke."

"That's why," she looked up at him with clear eyes, looking completely coherent, "I want to tell him goodbye for good. I think...I think I want to leave Virginia. I want to see what else is out there."

Tilting his head, Charon said, "No one's ever been able to find a way out of here, Hel. There's a wall of rubble and mountains trapping us in."

Shrugging, Hel said, "I still want to try. And I know I won't be going back for visits, so I want to say goodbye."

Nodding, Charon did his duty and followed.

...

Hel couldn't believe what her father was saying to her, "But you didn't care," she said quietly, "You didn't care enough about me to stay around, you didn't care enough about me to take time for your own fucking daughter!" her voice had raised to a yell, "You do _not_ have the right to suddenly tell me you're disappointed in me!"

James listened silently, arms folded over his chest, "If you're going to act like a child and not take responsibility for your own actions, then I don't see why I shouldn't be disappointed. You're nineteen, Helen! Start acting like it! Now are you going to help me or not?"

No, she wasn't. If she had her way, she'd blow this whole goddamn building sky high with her father in it. Instead, she lunged at him, slamming her fist into his face as she tackled him to the ground. Rearing back, she hammered down blow after blow, her leg had his right arm pinned down and it was all he could do to try and block her with his left. It took Charon and two of the other men to drag her off. All the while, she was screaming, "I hate you, I _hate_ you! You're fucking _nothing_ to me!"

Blood pouring from his mouth as he stood, James looked past her to Charon, "Get her out of here. And don't ever let her come back."

"Fuck you right up the ass," Charon growled, "You're not worth the pain you've caused this girl," he said as he dragged Hel backwards towards the door.

A little touched by his words, Hel stopped fighting him and let him swing her up into his arms and carry her out of the Jefferson Memorial as she cried into his chest.

...

Burke was a mess. The radio D.J., Three Dog, reported on Hel often, and he couldn't help but listen in, praying every time that she was okay. Lately, the reports had been few and far between, and since the last unbelievable one about her assaulting her own father over a month ago, there had been nothing. He tried to concentrate on his work, telling himself that she was fine, and that she could handle herself. Besides, she'd had that gigantic ghoul keeping company with her when she'd tried to see him. If he was still with her, she'd be fine.

_She should be safe in here with you_, came the unbidden thought, along with the wave of guilt. He had thought he was being so noble, letting her go from him, but the more time went by, the more he hated his decision.

Physically, he was most definitely showing his stress. He'd lost forty pounds, and he rarely combed his hair or shaved anymore. Tenpenny and the guards were the only ones that saw him. He remained in his room all hours of the day and only came out onto the balcony at night to look at the moon and stars, his loneliness engulfing him like the darkness.

Waking one morning to the radio blaring a newscast, Burke leapt to his feet as he heard Hel's name and the Enclave mentioned in the same sentence.

...

Hel knew Charon was angry with her. He hadn't spoken to her in the last four days. It had all gone to shit after she'd killed another innocent after he'd specifically asked her not to. They both knew who was holding the contract, and that was why she was still alive and he was still following her, but Hel knew that her destructive downward spiral wasn't doing her friend any good.

"Charon?" she came up behind him as he sat outside their house at the little round table, sitting in one chair, feet propped up on the other.

He didn't answer save a nod of his head to show he was listening.

"Charon, I think it's best if we part ways."

He was on his feet and in front of her in a moment, "Why?" his milky eyes still held an intensity as he stared down at her.

"Because. I'm trying to crash and burn here, Charon. There's no reason you have to come too."

Clenching the front of her combat armor with one hand, he lifted her in the air so her feet dangled a few feet from the ground, "I am _not _letting you destroy yourself, kid. Now come on," he set her down and shoved her towards the door, "Let's get some sleep."

Lying awake in bed that night, Hel's head swam with visions and memories, everything trying to sort itself into a coherent thought process that was completely eluding her. She knew it was stupid to keep ruining her life just because her daddy and boyfriend had gone and fucked off. It was hard to admit, but that's exactly what she'd been doing for a long time now. Making a silent promise to herself to restart fresh tomorrow, Hel rolled over and fell asleep.

...

Wary of the cheerful girl he woke to in the morning, Charon sat at the long table in the front room of their shack where she had ordered him to. Rummaging around in the kitchen, she smiled at him every time she caught him looking at her. Had she finally snapped completely? Was this what complete insanity was like for her?

"You can stop looking at me like I'm gonna blow up at any moment, Charon," Hel chided as she came to the table and placed a plate before him, "I'm not completely happy with the world, but I'm not gonna let it kill me or you either, so dig in and enjoy."

Shaking his head, but smiling and reaching for his fork, Charon looked down at what she'd managed to whip up in their tiny kitchen. She'd fixed him a brahmin steak and cut up a mutfruit for both of them to share. It was water to drink like always, but she'd pulled these bottles from the Nuka machine upstairs, so they were ice cold. He was happy to see her getting back to normal. He hoped the optimism kept up.

...

"We're leaving."

"What do you mean leaving?" Charon looked up from cleaning his tri-beam laser rifle.

"I don't want to stay here. Burke and my father both know I live here. I don't want them to be able to find me."

"So where the hell do you want us to go?"

Shrugging, Hel tossed his pack to him, "Dunno, let's go looking."

...

"It's perfect!" Hel spread her arms out wide over the satellite dish. They'd cleared the pack of Raiders out fairly easily and Hel had fallen more in love with the set-up the further in they'd gone. Now they'd reached the top, over-looking a vast empty waste for miles, and she turned to grin at him, the wind whipping her hair into her face.

"Alright kid, let's move in."

She jumped on him, arms squeezing round his neck tightly as she giggled in his ear, "Thank you, Charon."

Hugging her back awkwardly, Charon helped her back down to her feet, "Do you want to go back for anything?"

"Not tonight," she shook her head adamantly, "I want to stay here tonight, make sure no more Raiders come back. We have to make sure we claim this place as ours."

Laughing at her enthusiasm, Charon lifted the hatch to the ladder of the satellite, "I guess next you want to pick bedrooms?"

"Yes!" zipping over to him, she started down the ladder.

...

Standing outside the house in Megaton that belonged to Hel, Burke stared at the dark door. She was gone. She'd told the guard he'd never find her again. He didn't even know where to start. He'd already had a few eyes and ears out for any news on her in the last few weeks, and they'd lead him here, to an empty house.

Lucas Simms sauntered past at that moment, "Burke? That you? Haven't seen your face around here for a long time. Was wondering if you were ever coming back."

"Sheriff Simms," Burke touched his hat, "You wouldn't happen to know where Hel went, would you?"

"Little Vault 101?" Simms stroked his chin once, "Her and that ghoul headed out bout two days ago. They'll be back. She leaves for long periods all the time. She always comes back."

Burke doubted that was true this time, but he thanked the Sheriff, "If she does come back, Sheriff, could you tell her..." Burke hesitated. Did he want this man knowing how he felt about Hel?

Slapping Burke's back and surprising him, Lucas Simms laughed, "I'll tell her, Burke. Don't worry."

Goddamnit. Was he that obvious? Heading out of Megaton, Burke headed to the only other place he'd ever heard Hel talk about; Jefferson Memorial.

...

Managing to distract herself from thoughts of Burke and her father hadn't made them go away. It just caused them to build up and poison the inside of Hel so she became more and more sullen and violent. Then she'd drag Charon out into the wastes for a killing spree that would last until she couldn't stand anymore. Then things would return to normal until the next eruption. The cycle was wearing her down.

"You aren't eating enough," Charon choked out at the sight of her bony hips as he stood in her doorway one day.

Hel knew she looked terrible. She tried to eat, but she had little appetite, and when she managed to get things down, it was rare if they stayed there. The ghoul kept expressing worry and she kept making excuses.

"It's the weather. I'll eat more today."

Shaking his head and throwing up his arms, Charon left her alone.

...

Standing across from Hel's father, James, Burke grimaced, "So you're the worthless father that ran out on her?"

"And you're the worthless boyfriend that did the exact same thing," James raised an eyebrow at him, "I don't have any idea where my daughter is, Mr. Burke. Nor do I care at this point. She has decided to fuck up her life by being selfish and stupid. What do you want with someone like that?"

Furious, Burke grabbed a handful of the man's vault suit and dragged him forward, "Your daughter is the most beautiful creature on this planet. You've just got your head too far up your ass to see it. If you don't know where she is, then I'm wasting my time here." Shoving him away, Burke let James stumble and fall to the floor.

Cursing, James called after him as he turned to leave, "Good riddance, Mr. Burke. Scum deserves scum."

Ignoring him, Burke stayed strong long enough to get outside, then he fell against the buildings wall, shoulders shaking as tears streamed down his face. He'd seen everything he hated most about himself in Hel's father. Their mutual idea that she would be better off if they abandoned her was ludicrous. James had started the deep hurt in the girls heart, and Burke was terrified of what his own actions had done.

"Hel," he whispered to the stars, "I'm so sorry."

He knew now that she would never take him back. Her father had left her just as he had, and James had earned a beating and a daughter who thought of him as dead. He didn't want to dwell on what she might do to HIM. All that was left was for him to return to Tenpenny Tower. Maybe she would come back someday, or one of his spies would report a snippet of news on her... Burke knew it was hopeless, but he began the journey back home anyway.

...

Charon had left.

More accurately, Hel couldn't bear to see the pain in his eyes as he watched her waste away in front of him, so she'd let him go. This time with no arguing.

"If that's what you think is best," he growled, shouldering his pack and not looking her in the eyes. Hesitating at the door, he acted as if he was going to say something, then he was gone and she was alone.

Curling up on her bed with her collection of teddy bears, Hel considered going ahead and ending it. It wasn't like she was short the tools to do it. But instead, she opened a box of Sugar Bombs and forced herself to eat. It was stupid for her to be doing this to herself, but she couldn't stop. It seemed like the world wanted her gone, so she felt most of the time like helping it out with its goal. But some piece of anger stayed alive deep inside her and it kept her going. Anger at the world that wanted her out of it so badly.

"There has to be a place."

Clicking on her pip-boy, Hel began to search for a place where there was room for her life.

...

Burke had been walking around like a zombie for weeks. Tenpenny himself had asked him to straighten himself up a bit, "You look a mess."

Instead, Burke had retreated into his room and began to have his meals delivered as well. Many a night he would lay in his bed with a pistol in one hand and a bottle of something strong in the other, trying to drink himself brave enough to get it done and over with. Every night the gun fell from numb hands and clattered harmlessly to the floor.

After practically drinking himself into a coma one night, Burke woke groggily to the sound of someone picking his lock. Sitting up, he felt around for the pistol in the dark as he heard the lock click and the door ease open. Drunken fingers fumbled across the handle of the gun, missing it twice and finally gripping it and bringing it up as the intruder came to stand right over him.

"Enough, Burke," came a gravelly voice he didn't recognize, "You know what's fucking good for you, loverboy, and you'll come quietly. From the looks of you, you want to go where I'm taking you just as badly as I do."

Brain slow and fuzzy from alcohol and sleep, Burke blinked at the tall ghoul for a few more moments, working through everything he'd just said, "Hel?"

Sighing, the ghoul hauled him to his feet and swung him over one shoulder, "Yes, to Hel. Now let's get you out of here."

...

The past few days had been hard, but Hel had managed to take better care of herself than she had in a long time. She was a little stronger today, and she decided to go for a walk around the satellite dishes. Standing and looking out over the wastes, she spotted two figures coming towards her. Shielding her eyes from the sun, Hel tried to make them out, but at the distance they were, she could only tell that one was significantly taller than the other.

Her sniper rifle was stored in a footlocker down below her, so she could do nothing but wait until they came close enough for her to make out their faces. Charon was in front and became clear first. Shocked to see him, Hel had a second to wonder why he would be coming back of his own accord when she looked past him to the other man.

"No," she breathed.

Diving for the hatch in the middle of the satellite, Hel slid down the ladder and ran for her bedroom and the footlocker. Snatching up her rifle and a box of .308's she stormed back up the ladder and took aim.

...

The earth in front of Burke's foot exploded into the air as a shot rang out, "Jesus fucking Christ!"

"Hold still!" Charon flung out one arm to Burke and the other into the air, "Hel!" he called, "It's me, Charon!"

Another shot zipped between the two men in answer.

"Looks like she doesn't want to see you as badly as I thought," the ghoul said.

Following his gaze up to the top of the satellite tower, Burke could see the shape of Hel's head and shoulders and the glint of the sniper rifle that she had trained on them. Both shots had been warnings. Both Burke and Charon knew she could have killed them already if she really wanted.

"Hel!" Burke called to her, holding his arms out to his sides, "Hel please!"

"Fuck off Burke! You can't hurt me again! I can't take it! Go away!"

The high-pitched panicked note to her voice ripped him in two. She really was terrified that he was going to come back only to leave her again.

"Hel, I swear-" another shot silenced him.

"I told you to fuck off!" she screamed, choking on a sob at the end.

"Burke," Charon turned to him, "It isn't happening. She'll never let us close."

Shaking his head, Burke set his jaw and took a step forward, "Hel, I'm sorry I left you. I never meant to hurt you. I love you."

"_STOP_ SAYING THAT!" this time, the shot ripped through his shoulder. Crying out, Burke fell to the ground.

Charon stood over him, handing him a stimpak as he dragged him behind a nearby rock for cover, "This isn't how I thought it was going to work out," Charon admitted.

Gasping as the stimpak mended his flesh back together, Burke nodded his agreement, "You and me both."

"She hates you, you know."

"Yes."

"Are you gonna give up?"

"No."

...

Hel hid her face in her hands as she cried. For one sickening moment, she thought she'd killed Burke. Seeing him fall to the ground from her bullet had snapped her back into reality. That was Burke down there. He was right there!

Running for the hatch again, Hel slid down the ladder, pelted down the stairs, and out into the open, "Burke!" she cried.

He stood from behind a rock in a flash, face gaunt and looking as horrible as she knew she did. Seeing him, she couldn't get her legs to run fast enough. Meeting her halfway, he scooped her into his arms as she leapt into them, crying as their lips found each other.

"I'm sorry," he breathed in between kisses, "I'm so sorry, Hel. I never meant to hurt you, I'm so sorry. I love you so much."

"I love you too," she managed, then they were lost in each other again.

Hel couldn't stop crying despite her happiness, and tried to pull away and wipe at Burke's face, but he wouldn't have any of it. Pulling her in, he pressed his lips against hers, running his tongue along her top lip and sliding it inside her mouth when she opened to him. Sighing against him, she melted into his chest as he pulled her deeper into the kiss.

Clearing his throat beside them, Charon brought them both back to reality. Separating enough to swivel their heads to look at the ghoul, they remained latched to each other.

"Maybe we should get inside before you two get any further along."

...

Despite their urge to ravage each other, once Burke and Hel made it inside to Hel's bed, the two had just enough energy to get comfy in each others arms before they both fell into a deep sleep. Still feeling like the smoothskin didn't deserve a girl like Hel, seeing the reunion had made Charon confident that he had done the right thing in dragging Burke out of his tower and to his woman.

The mans thumb gently grazed Hel's cheek in sleep and she snuggled closer to his chest. Smiling, Charon closed the door to Hel's room behind him quietly and went to his own room. Even though Hel had fired him, he had a feeling he'd be hired back on in the morning.

...

So this spewed outta me one night after playing Fallout as an evil character that happened to start a relationship with Burke. Bastard broke my heart. ;) It's a rough oneshot, something I don't normally do. I wanted to go further, but it just felt...done I guess... I think I might write a second part to it later where there's some good ol' naughty time between Hel and Burke, but for now, you get this angsty love story! ;)

Now you know where some of my time goes when I should be working on already started fanfics. ;)


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